Friday, June 28, 2013

Blast to the past; I'm Not Even Bitter

I decided to look back at old posts, and saw one about falling for princess. As I read it, everything was so relevant to my current infatuation. Granted things this time around are slightly different. For example, Brundy is WAY more bangin' than princess ever was, Brundy wasn't stringing me along for as long as princess was (if at all, but I'm not willing to even ask about it, because I'd like to keep the past, THE PAST if at all possible), and lastly, Brundy is a homosexual, not a closetfag bicurious sex addict like princess.

However, in finding the differences in these two situations, I also noticed remarkably similar traits. The most disappointing, and irritating one being how ABSOLUTELY LOSE MY MIND, HEAD-OVER-HEELS BONKERS I seem to get when I fall for somebody. Princess was the first, Wazzy was second, and third was Brundy; and of course falling for him was the hardest hit, which is saying something, 'coz even lusting after princess, I was DATING Tyler.

Its no worries though, because even though I'd really love if Brundy and I became an item, I fully understand that it's never going to happen, and I'm just wishful thinking. Not only that, but weeks ago (when I came to that conclusion), I also concluded that I'm willing to walk away from Brundy empty handed, so long as he is happy with whatever endeavour, whether it be single life, this Canadian love interest, or just plain not being with me (because really, I get it, I'm gross). I just keep telling myself that old saying of "if you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it's yours to keep forever". I'm really not expecting that last part though. The only way any of this would change would be if he came to me looking for some sort of relationship, otherwise I will just be the best possible friend I can be to him because thats what he deserves. In the meantime, I'll do my best to wait it out 'till someone else comes around.

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